You Know What You Need To Do And The Reasons You Still Don’t Do It
Change doesn’t come easy. We are creatures of habit and like to stay in our comfort zone, no matter how uncomfortable it feels! It’s so much easier to say: Yes, I know I need to …. (fill in the blanks) than to actually do it. That’s one of the ways how you ignore the angel on your shoulder
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say: “Yes, I know I need to be kinder to myself,” when they see my book called Imagine Being Kind To YourSelf.
Yes, I know, I know – and on you go continuing doing what makes you unhappy, uncomfortable, sick and miserable. Do you ever wonder why that is?
I took some time to wonder about it and came up with these reasons, which are all really based in fear:
How You Ignore The Angel On Your Shoulder And Stay In Your Comfort Zone
- Fear of changeEven though you feel uncomfortable in your current situation, at least you have a roof over your head, you live with someone who claims to love you, you have a steady income from a job that doesn’t give you much joy, there’s food in the fridge, even though it’s not healthy for you… At least you are surviving, which may be better than taking any risk of change. Who knows what could happen if…?
Well, what if the other shoe drops? What if things get worse? What if, what if, what if? These questions are usually fear based, expecting the answer to be worse than your current situation. In this state of fear, you hardly expect the answers to be: “What if things got better? What if there is a better match for me out there? What if taking a risk will land me in a situation I’ve been hoping for?” What if you considered that option?
Who am I to be wanting more when so many people have less than I?
When we compare ourselves to those who have less than us or are worse off, we lower our standards of what is possible. It stops you from being an expression of what is possible outside the mediocre standard that our society has dulled us into believing it’s supposed to be.
We are on a constant evolutionary process that evolves us to become more, bigger, better, vaster. This is natural and if you look at history, we have evolved and expanded in many, many areas, although there is still never ending room for expansion and improvement. Staying small because others do, is blocking your own evolution to become all that you are.
I should be grateful for what I have
Sure, I agree. Gratitude goes a long way and is one of the most powerful tools to expand beyond limitation and lack. It’s an amazing energy that I am still learning to ride to even greater heights.
However, if this gratitude is used as a way to stay small without the real feeling of gratitude in your whole Being, it may not serve you in the way it’s meant to. As soon as we think we ‘should’ be or do this or that, we are not really being/doing it. We are trying to force ourselves to be something that we really are not.
On the other hand, if you really mean that you are and feel grateful for your current life, no matter how challenging or limiting it is, you are doing amazing and have mastered a very powerful aspect of life. I bow to you.
Low energy and low motivation
That’s a biggie. Sometimes we have lulled ourselves into a doozie or discomfort and don’t have much energy left for anything else than to take care of our current life. Just imagining making a change or seek out help seems overwhelming. If you have spiraled down that low, I would say you really do need someone to help you up to a higher level of energy until you can hold yourself up and grow into the ‘new you’ who already lives inside of you. If you relate to this reason #5, you’ll likely put down this article after you read it and go back to your low energy life and stay stuck in survival mode. Please don’t! Reach out for help. It IS available and you really need it!
You don’t want it enough
I think that one lies at the core of all our choices. I usually say that if you want something enough, the energy and inspiration will fill you up and make you do it no matter what. Most of the time you don’t want what you think you want enough to do what it takes. Surprised? It actually means that you want something else more. That something else fits into the category of safety, security and certainty, which is what you will only find in your current familiar state, no matter how painful it is. You need to be able to deeply Feel in your body that you want it, whatever ‘it’ is for you. That is the only place that will make you successful in reaching your goal. You can read more about that in Committing From A Felt Sense.
I can’t afford it
I just read that 40 percent of consumers surveyed said they lived paycheck to paycheck, which means they are just one paycheck away from financial disaster.That’s pretty scary, isn’t it? In that case it makes sense that it is hard to consider making even small changes in your life. I get it! However, even though this ‘lack of being able to afford’ feels and looks more real than your ability to follow what you really want, you can start moving in the right direction. I would suggest starting with a simple Meditation And Mindfulness practice to help you become aware of what is available outside this scary state.
Lack of courage and confidence
It does take gusto to step out of the known and into something you can barely imagine yet. You may need to take some time to build up some of these qualities before taking your first step. This is not a bad idea by the way, and something that will serve you in all areas of your life. Self Love is a powerful tool to build confidence.
Fear of failing
If you don’t think you can follow through on your goal, you’re probably right. Many people have attempted to lose weight, start an exercise program, stop an addiction, leave a relationship, and then get pulled back by their fears or lack of true commitment. If you keep doing this, you start losing trust in yourself, expecting to fail again. Why even try when you know you’ll fail, right? Unless you break that pattern you’ll find yourself in a hopeless downward spiral. You can read more about that subject in The Power Of True Commitment.
You don’t believe in yourself or in the outcome
Not believing things would or could change used to be one of my biggest blocks in life. There was something in me that just couldn’t imagine that I could be other than what I was today. Many of my efforts failed because of that. It was important to overcome that belief in order to feel inspired to keep moving towards my goal. It was a sticky belief that was hard to shake, but I did. We all have our specific sticky patterns. Eventually they do dissolve.
I’ve tried it all and nothing has worked
I get it. That relates very much to #10 and we each have our unique belief that seems to block progress. Sometimes it just seems like no matter what you do and how much effort you put into it, somehow you keep finding yourself in the same situation. It really sucks, doesn’t it, and surely is a good reason to give up? No! Some patterns change easily, some ‘mediumly’ and some don’t seem to budge.
Outside Perspective Helps
In my experience, I can only go so far on my own and then I really need some outside perspective to help seeing or doing what I can’t see or do myself. And even then, it may still take time. Some patterns are so ingrained in our society and are part of what holds this whole matrix of the old paradigm together and are hard to see. Some of the beliefs are related to past lifetimes. Some are so hidden and need a psychic reader or medium, hand analyst, past life regression therapist, spiritual healer, or all of them, in order to pull out a lynch pin that is very hard to do yourself. Please don’t give up or think you need to do it all on your own. You are on your path and it will give you all the life experiences you need for you to fully wake up. Keep going…
I’d like to leave you with this quote from Henry Cloud: “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.”
How is your pain level? Ready to change? I know that change is not easy after years of doing the same! It’s OK to reach out for help and I understand that you want to make sure that the one you reach out to, is the right one. If this article speaks to you, please go and check out my work as a Self Love Mystic & Mentor at Divine Feminine Flow. If you want to learn more about mindfulness, please start with the Meditation & Mindfulness course. Feel free to contact her for a free 30 min. Discovery Session to learn how true Self Love can turn your whole life around. Or, a really good way to start and learn a little more about what I do, is to download my free e-book, 5 Steps To Dive Into The Divine Feminine Flow. I look forward to hearing from you!