The Lies We Tells Ourselves
~She was concerned to go to her boyfriend’s family gathering. What if they started talking politics? She was afraid it would be rude if she didn’t engage in those conversations.
~She cried as she was leaving for work because she felt another migraine coming on. She had over-extended herself all week and couldn’t wait for Sunday to arrive – her only day off. I ran into her next morning on her way to sub for someone at work! I asked her what would happen if she said she couldn’t do it? She said she would let that person down as well as the company! And off she went.
~There was a note on our equipment at the studio asking to stack our cushions a certain way to make it easier for them to pull them down. Maybe easier for them, but it was so much more complicated for us to stack them that way. I suggested we just stack them the way we always do, since they happen to be ours anyway. She said, ‘Yes, but I am afraid that they know better than I do!’
The struggle to just Be ourSelves
I experienced these 3 incidences recently from some of my Women friends as they still struggle to just Be themselves and not be so affected by the consequences.
I do admit that I still have a few areas in life where I hold myself back out of fear what others will think about me too. Luckily it’s only a small fraction of how I used to be. It seems to be a long road we travel to fully let go of that fear.
Dear Sisters, I understand your hesitation – I feel your fear – we’ve done this for too long and have forgotten what it’s like to just Be ourSelves. I See the True Woman who lives behind your eyes, peeking out, wondering when She is allowed Her space on stage?
We haven’t exactly been invited to speak our opinions, share our wisdom and express our feelings in this male dominated world, have we? It’s no wonder that every cell in our bodies have been conditioned to not speak our truth and show the world who we really are. We have been conditioned to fit in, hold back, look down, pretend, compromise and hide all the beauty and amazingness that is peeking out from behind our eyes.
We’ve made up reasons why we behave like that: It’s rude; they know better; I don’t want to let anyone down. These reasons are lies. Don’t believe them.
- When you are in your Essence and speak your truth, it’s not rude but empowering both for you and those you speak to. So what if they don’t like it. By you and I expressing who we are, we allow them to step into their power too.
- Others may know things you don’t and may have more knowledge in certain areas – just like you do.
- Saying no doesn’t mean you’re letting someone down. It just means you are being true to yourself. Maybe they do feel let down. That happens to all of us at times and is part of life.
How did you come up with these reasons? Did anyone tell you?
Why did you believe them? Why are you not questioning this idea that it’s rude to say you are not interested in the way politics are run today? Why do you believe that everyone knows better than you? Don’t you have as much life experience to draw from as everyone else? Is it not OK to see the world from a different view?
Am I rude too?
Would you believe me if I told you that it’s rude to not speak your truth and instead pretend that you are different than you really are? Or that it is your calling to speak what you know instead of swallowing it? How often have you let yourself down in order to fulfill others’ demands, dreams and needs, while draining your own energy to the point of getting migraines?
Do you find me rude for sharing this with you?
Please just consider it when you’re scrambling for a reason why you are not allowing the One peeking out from behind your eyes into your life. She is Big, She is Bold and She is Beautiful. It takes a lot of energy to keep her locked up inside. This energy is mighty big and it takes a lot of effort to hold it back. Pressure, headaches, pain, accidents, stress…
It’s more energy efficient to follow Her guidance and fully become One with Her through your inner promptings, longings and guidance. And it feels better too!
This erroneous use of your energy expresses itself in and as the world you live in. It blocks the Divine Feminine Flow that is meant to fulfill your life in a harmonious way. She lives inside of you. She wants to move into this world and harmonize all the suffering caused by holding Her back. The pain and pressure you feel in your life comes from all your efforts to resist Her and hold Her back.
Just imagine how all these reasons you tell yourself that you are rude, incompetent and need to be there for everyone else, are the fingers in the dam holding back this Flow.
Breaking the mold
May I encourage you to try for one day – just one day – to speak what you try to hold back, to say no when you really don’t want to, and follow your own guidance instead of someone else’s?
Start with people you feel safe with. It’s scary, I know. I grew up in this same society as you did, and it was not easy to break my self-imposed mold. I learned to do it in a safe way while being kind to myself. I didn’t just do it with anyone or anywhere. I practiced with safe friends and my coach or therapist. Little by little I found my voice, learned to stand my ground and created respectful, healthy boundaries.
There is a Woman inside of you who keeps knocking on your door, but it’s getting harder and harder for Her to remain so gentle. Her Energy is getting bigger and stronger and She cannot hold It back anymore. She is meant to take birth as you and me and it’s too late to abort. If you are more inclined to have a natural birth, start breaking your mold. If you want to wait for the Cesarian, keep doing what you are doing, but be prepared for a lot more discomfort than if you are willing to participate in the awakening of the Woman inside whose due date is very near.
Please enjoy this poem called The Woman I Always Wanted To Be.
Pernilla Lillarose is a Self Love Mystic & Mentor at Divine Feminine Flow. Feel free to contact her for a free 30 min. Discovery Session to learn how true Self Love can turn your whole life around. You can also go to Women Standing For Love and become part of a growing movement in the world.