I hope you enjoyed my previous article and the importance of diving deep down into the root of unworthiness and learn more about how to dissolve the core of your suffering. As you know from that article, changing your mindset doesn’t cut it.
Today I’ll show you 3 powerful steps (out of many more) how to get down into the root and make a permanent change.
In step 1 you sharpen your pruning tool of Self Love, and trust me, you’re going to need it. Step 2 is the pruning stage that makes it easier to recognize and enter into the root in step 3. These 3 steps need to be taken over and over, although not necessarily in that order. As you do, you build more Presence and stamina, which again makes it easier to recognize your True Awake Self – which is your True final destination. You absolutely need access to your awakened Self when you enter into this core. If you don’t, you may be swallowed up by it again instead of dissolving it.
Can you even imagine a life that is not colored or tempted by the belief that you are not enough, not good enough, bad, wrong and simply unlovable? Well, it’s a bit of a journey, but in the end… yes it IS possible!
Step 1. Meet All Of YourSelf With Love
I can never stress this one enough, simply because Self Love dissolves the resistance inside that causes you to Feel separate from Love – separate from your True Self – the real cause of suffering.
The reason you are not experiencing the Love that you Long for is that you are not making use of it. Love is everywhere, all the time. If you tune into it, you can always find it. However, for whatever reason, we all seem to have turned away from Love, and are now suffering the consequences, believing there is something wrong with us.
Rumi says: ‘Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.’
That’s quite a journey and you’re going to need a good pruning tool to remove these barriers.
Love is really all there is when you drop down under the cover of illusion. Love is the great dissolver of illusion and it starts with Self Love. Once you Love yourSelf, you won’t stand for all the nonsense you’ve submitted yourSelf to in the past, and now you can focus on the Real You instead. Once you learn to Love the parts of yourSelf that you’ve been resisting, hating, criticizing, shaming or disowning, you gain greater access to the Love that you already ARE.
Love IS the glue that binds it all together. When you start ‘using’ this glue by Loving the parts in you that you have not Loved yet – consciously or unconsciously – the inner division starts melting – and your True Self emerges.
Give it a try. If you have not yet downloaded my free ebook 5 Steps To Dive Into The Divine Feminine Flow, please do it right now. You’ll learn how to start Loving yourSelf by using the 3 steps of the ALL Formula. A=Allow, L=Listen, L=Love. It’s really simple and amazingly powerful.
The majority of my writing over the years has been about the why and how to of Self Love , and what happens when you don’t. Once you learn the power of true Self Love, you gain more and more access to your true Nature, aka your Divine Essence, which of course IS Love.
As you ‘use’ this solvent of Love
- you gain more Clarity
- you get more access to the Power of Love
- it gets easier to dissolve the root of suffering
- you naturally embody your True Essence of Love
- you suffer less – a lot less!
- you lose interest in your old stories
There are many more benefits. Please start practicing Self Love. Make it a daily practice and strengthen your Self Love muscle. It gets easier with practice. Please start practicing.
Love is what you are. It’s up to you to realize that by accessing it and using it.
2. The Pruning Stage Of How To Dissolve The Core Of Your Suffering
In my own life, Self Love has not been enough to liberate all of me, although without it, I wouldn’t be Be who I am today. Life is a lot easier when your resistance is gone and you are fully willing and able to Be yourSelf, warts and all and meet every future layer with this same willingness and Love.
There are myriads of ways to put this Self Love into practice in your daily life. Some patterns, however are so deeply ingrained that they need more help. These patterns are closely related to the way you live your life, the foods you eat, the environment you live in, your genes, exercise or lack thereof and so much more. Your body needs to be included in this Self Love and can’t be overlooked if you are serious about living an embodied awakened life.
The reason I’m making the following points, is that I had to go through many of them mySelf in order to access deeper levels of who I am and shed those that I’m not. I was a sugar junkie, had parasites, tons of heavy metals, many dental issues, unresolved trauma from the past and that’s not all of it. The point is that we all need to address these areas of our life, unless you want to stay stuck in this low frequency energy.
Let’s look at how you can Love and support your body better:
Diet: Look at what you eat and how it affects you. I am not qualified to give advice on what to eat or not to eat, so I’ll just invite you, maybe even inspire you to be aware of the many foods that can cause emotional and physical discomfort. There’s a lot of research about sugar and all its derivatives and how that affects your body and your mood. There’s plenty of data available showing how sugar plays a big role in depression, anxiety and unhappiness.
As a Hakomi Practitioner I’d like to do what we always do, and that is experimenting and see what happens. So, how about doing a little experiment with yourSelf by cutting out sugar and artificial sweeteners for a month and see what happens?
Wheat is another culprit amongst Naturopathic Doctors and functional medicine practitioners. Why not experiment with eliminating that one from your diet for a month and see what happens?
There’s a lot more to explore, but why don’t you do your own research and exploration to see what might change in you?
Exercise: Lack of exercise as we all know can have a detrimental effect on your health. Let’s do another experiment here – to keep in the spirit of Hakomi – and try for one month to exercise 3-4 times a week, starting with a brisk walk for 20 minutes.
Detox: Boy, that’s a biggie and was one of the big surprises I had to face many years ago. I ate healthy, exercised, meditated, certainly Loved mySelf to the best of my ability and did all the things that seemed and Felt ‘right.’ However, I didn’t feel well. After a visit to a Naturopathic Doctor, I found out why. I had parasites and a lot of heavy metals in my body, which could well be the cause of my lack of vitality.
After a long bout of detoxing and chelating heavy metals, I started feeling significantly better. However, like so many others like me, there was more work to do.
If you are struggling with issues that keep resurfacing, do your own research about detoxing your body in whatever way you Feel called to. Heavy metals, Lyme, mold and parasites are very common issues that get in the way of good health and embodied happiness. Surprisingly they can have a strong impact on your ability to Be Still and Present in your meditation and in your life and could be the cause of why you just don’t seem to improve.
Don’t embark on this journey on your own. Seek out support from someone who is well trained in this arena.
Teeth: Oh, this has been a biggie for me too. It is an area that you normally don’t associate with the rest of your body if you don’t feel well, feel anxious or even depressed. However, it’s all so connected. If you have inflammation anywhere in our mouth, your whole body is affected. If you still have toxic metals in your mouth, research shows how that can be the cause of many ailments, both physical, emotional and mental. Again, I am not an expert in this arena, except from my own life experience. If you want to learn more, you can listen to the free online Holistic Oral Health Summit.
Past lives: It seems that many people really benefit from doing some past life regression therapy. This can effectively help undo some stuck energy from one or more past lifetimes (if you believe in that) and help you be more Present in this lifetime.
Emotional release: Even though Self Love helps release a lot of the contracted and withheld energy in your body, it does not always get to the root of it all. I use several energetic approaches in my practice and find it immensely powerful to help the body let go.
I have found EFT to be the most helpful along with practicing Self Love. EFT tapping literally ‘taps’ out the blocked energy stuck in the meridians that keep your body in a state of fight or flight. Research shows that EFT tapping calms down and even ends the fight or flight response and releases the body from stored emotions, memories and trauma.
There are many other modalities that help with trauma so feel free to do your own exploration. EFT is something you can learn and do yourSelf or with a practitioner. I like to give my clients homework to tap in between our sessions. This empowers them to participate in their own transformation.
Meditation & Mindfulness: These are the foundations for living a harmonious and fulfilled life. If you are new to meditation, please check out my Meditation & Mindfulness program online.
Sleep: Are you getting enough sleep?
Rewiring the brain for a better future: Oh, this is a fun one and something most of us have to get used to. Changing your old paradigm deficiency stories into the new paradigm of infinite potentials is scary, exciting and mind blowing. My favorite teacher in this field is Dr Joe Dispenza.
However, as long as we still feel too identified with our old stories, it’s impossible to create a new life. That’s why you HAVE to address all the deeper aspects of who you think you are first and release them on a cellular level before you can create a new life.
I know I just threw a bomb of information and suggestions at you. Please be KIND to yourSelf and start where you can. This is meant to help you uncover and release – one layer at a time – the ways you still feel stuck in the unfolding of your life. It will help you gain access to your Divine Power that is the ultimate Solvent of the root of suffering.
3. Being Present IN The Root Of Suffering
Remember: Self Love is essential, no matter what you do. The Presence you gain from Self Love literally becomes the very unfolding and emerging of the True You.
When you Love yourSelf, you’ll want the best for yourSelf. You’ll do whatever it takes to free yourSelf from the programs, patterns and false identities that are holding you back. Even though you may not be able to do it all at once, and even though you may fall flat on your face many times, keep moving forward. Stay committed for the long haul.
This commitment to yourSelf is the Energy of the awakened You! When you can be Present with all the parts of yourSelf that you have previously been resisting, your Divine Presence has outgrown your past patterns and programs. You Have what it takes to enter into the final core wound. You ARE what it takes to Be You!
You’ll realize that all the pruning you’ve done so far, were mere branches and sucklings extending out from this root of unworthiness at the core of it all. This root has been nourished by all the false identities you built on top of it and is now exposed for what it is. And it is powerless in the face of You.
Are you ready?
With the Awakened Presence that you’ve gained from the pruning, you now have the courage to stand strong in yourSelf when the core root tempts you.
Do you remember what the root is?
“I’m not enough, not good enough, unloved, unwanted, wrong, bad.”
Please add your own flavor. These are the ones that have made you build the false empire on top of it. This is the empire you’ve been pruning because it caused you a great deal of unhappiness, even though you may have looked happy to others.
I think you’ve gained enough Awakened Presence to admit that you were not happy and that you don’t want to continue that way.
So at this stage of the journey, it is about BEING the Presence IN the core of the root of suffering.
Now you need to let yourSelf FEEL the Feelings of not being good enough and notice how the body has been conditioned to NOT FEEL them. It’s like going against the stream, but I know you can do it, because you have gained access to your Awake Presence. This Presence is so much bigger than anything any root can ever tempt you to believe. This Presence is who you are. You are not the root. I know you’ve believed yourSelf to BE that root your whole life – but you are NOT!
From now on, you are consciously able to choose to Feel the Feelings that this root has evoked and then courageously stand strong and Feel them without wavering.
You can take all the time you need to master this new skill, and every time you practice, you’ll be better at it next time.
A friend of mine recently spend 4 full days, 5 hours a day consciously practicing this! I’m sharing this with you so help you realize that this is not a small task. You need to be committed and devoted in order to brake this habit of believing this root is you. This is no small task, but it is possible.
The more time you spend Being your Presence while Feeling the sensations and temptations of the root, the sooner you’ll dismantle and uproot this culprit. Commit to spending daily dedicated time strengthening your Self in this practice by consciously Feeling into the Sensations of your particular flavor of the root. Notice if you can just stay with it and in it without touching it – without resisting it – without arguing with it – without engaging in it. Just rest in your Awake Presence and do your best to allow this root to do it’s usual tempting, enticing and convincing you through your Felt Sense that you are not good enough. Your steady Presence WILL dissolve it, like nothing else will.
Now you are in touch with your True Power. No matter what the root tells you, you’ll soon be so convinced that it’s just a big load of BS that you have believed to be true your whole life.
Now, the energy of the root that your old ’empire’ was built on will dissolve. It will leave you with a whole new Energy to create your new empire, fully aligned with your Heart’s Wisdom, Vision and Steadfastness.
Let me know if you need support in taking these steps. I’ll gladly help you. Just sign up for a 30 min free Discovery Session with me and we’ll find out what step is the most relevant for you at this stage of your life. You can find out more about my work and if this is what you are looking for at Divine Feminine Flow.
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