Why It Is So Hard To Follow Your Heart

Learning To Follow Your Heart Is Like Learning A New Language

If you have ever taken it on to learn a new language, you know it is not easy, especially as you get older. Yes, when you grow up, it happens mostly through osmosis and not through practice and repetition. Learning to Follow your Heart is similar. You have to practice and make it a priority, which is why it is so hard to follow your Heart. Few people take the time to learn.

I was born in Denmark and when I was barely 2 years old we moved to Holland because of my father’s work.  I learned to speak both languages, Danish and Dutch from a very young age. I had to speak Danish at home with my parents. Of course I spoke Dutch outside of home as well as with my siblings. My Dutch was fluent. My Danish less so, because it was not really my first language, yet good enough to be able to communicate with my parents and grand parents with ease.

Well, your Heart has a language too, and unfortunately not one that many people speak or understand yet. When I moved to Holland it happened naturally because I lived there. I was immersed in it. I lived in Holland.

I wish we could move into Heart-land where it is already their first language so we can just soak it up through osmosis. Alas, this is yet to be.

I have often used the metaphor or language, because your Heart truly has its own way of communicating that feels foreign and is hard to understand at first.

Practicing Yes and No

Learning the language of the Heart is different than a lingual language. It is sensed and understood through your feelings, longings and body and not necessarily as words. Again, like with any other new language, you start with the basics, such as yes and no.

In my book Imagine Being Kind To YourSelf I offer some exercises to get in touch with the felt sense of yes and no.

When you pay attention to your body, you will know what a yes feels like and what a no feels like. The problem is that most of us were not encouraged to listen to our body when we grew up, and instead learned to ignore its signs – its language. But underneath it all, we actually do know, don’t we. How often have you said to yourself – after the fact: “I knew it!! I should have listened to myself.”

Yes, that one! We’ve all done it. I certainly have and usually with great regret. So how about making conscious what we already know so we don’t ever have to fall for that trick again.

Let’s start with the basics:

• What does a yes feel like?
  Take your time here and get curious about what happens in your body when you feel open to an experience. Does it soften, open up, relax, expand? What do you experience?
• What does a no feel like?
  Here too, what happens when you say no or don’t want something? Does your body tighten up, puff up, harden, get energetic? Something else? What happens?

Lesson 1 is foundational if you want to learn how to listen to your Heart and body: When you have time, please write down your body’s feed back in situations where you do or don’t want something.

Your Heart has the answer and your body interprets it for you through its sensations. Please use your body language as the interpreter of your Heart. They are not separate.

Your mouth speaks word language, your hands speak sign language, your body speaks Heart (or Sense) language.

Have you ever considered how the Divine would let you know what direction is best for you?

To me it feels obvious that if the Divine wants to communicate something to me, using my Heart and body through its longing and inspiration, works smoothly and gracefully once I learn to interpret it.

Years of suppression

As we are leaving behind the old paradigm, it becomes essential to learn the language of the New Paradigm. I agree that in a way it doesn’t seem fair that we suddenly have to shift into a whole new way of relating to ourselves and each other after years and lifetimes of speaking and relating from a different source – our heads. However, whether we like it or not, this seems to be the way now and the sooner we learn its way, the less we need to suffer and struggle, or even resist it.

In the old paradigm we learned to suppress our natural wisdom and Divine connection. We learned to doubt and deny our inner Sense and instead we followed what others did or how society conditioned us. Our bodies are holding years – even lifetimes of suppression of our natural Divine expression, which is why it is essential to learn the basics again. We need to open the door to receive what our natural inner Wisdom communicates to us and we do this by listening to our longing, vision and inner knowing.

The Reason Why It Is So Hard To Follow Your Heart

So why is it hard to follow your Heart? Because you have been conditioned to follow your mind and outer suggestions in order to feel safe, included and loved, which is exactly what the old paradigm was founded on. Until you understand that the old paradigm is passe`, it will be hard to believe that the rules have changed. Obviously it will feel very scary to leave what we’ve been conditioned to believe is safe. How can we be safe then?

Well, safe is really a joke anymore if you look around you. It may feel safe to be surrounded by people who do the same as you do, no matter how unsafe it is. But really…?

In my experience it is much safer to surround myself with people who are following their Heart too and standing out as different. It does feel good to know others like that and to feel supported by those people in finding a new way in a failing world.

Heartish

I have used the word Heartish before as a way to describe this new Heart language and to emphasize that it really is a very clear way the Divine communicates with us. Even if Heartish sounds silly, your body really has it’s own language and if you have a better word for it, please use that instead. You can also call it intuition, as it is your Sixth Sense that shines through asking for your participation. The Sense that is outside of the familiar 5 ones. Whatever you call it, IT wants your attention so IT can move through the turmoil in the world and help it rise into I higher state of consciousness more aligned with its next evolutionary unfolding.

I often feel like a broken record by writing about the importance to listen to your longing and take it seriously. But in my own unfolding as well as what I sense on a bigger plane, this is what we are called to do – to listen to this inner Calling, follow it and surrender to its unfolding – and make it a priority in our life.

Back to the Yes and No

Having someone ‘pronounce’ these 2 words in Hearthish will help you practice them with more confidence. I hope you’ll take some time to get a feel for what happens in your body when you are drawn to something – and when repulsed. Notice the signs.

• How are they ‘pronounced’ in your body?

• How does your breathing change.

• Are your jaws tensing up or relaxing?

• Is your belly tight of soft?

• Do you feel inspired or depleted?

• What else stands out for you?

Little steps – big changes, just by learning the basic body signs that have been guiding you through life all along without you paying much attention to them or realizing what an amazing instrument you are walking around as.

There’s a lot more to learn about this language, and over time as you become more familiar with its nuances and subtleties you’ll gently feel moved by them. They’ll help you become a pure expression of your awakened Self making a difference in the world, while giving you a sense of purpose and fulfillment, which can only happen through the inspiration, expression and embodiment born out of following your beautiful Heart.

You can learn more about my work as a Self Love Mystic & Mentor at Divine Feminine Flow. Learn more about how to enter this New Paradigm in my book Imagine Being Kind To YourSelf. You may also contact me for a free 30 min. Discovery Session to learn how true Self Love can turn your whole life around. There’s plenty of help and support for you.