Oh, no thanks, I am fine!

Oh, No Thanks, I Am Fine!

We’ve all said it, haven’t we. We are so self reliant and have build a nice little fortress around ourselves so we don’t need to risk looking weak and vulnerable. I got some nice feed back from my recent email and was asked to share a little more about my own experience saying: ‘Oh, no thanks, I am fine’

The one that came to mind was when I was looking to move to in Santa Cruz, when I still lived in San Diego area.
I would drive up to Santa Cruz frequently to look for my perfect place in Paradise here. I was lucky to be able to stay at my best friend’s house on my shorter visits.
One day when I arrived after driving for 7+ hours, I started taking my stuff out of the car, and ‘stacked them on my body’, like an overpacked mule. My friend came out and said: Do you need any help?
Can you guess my answer? Very lovingly she assured me it was OK to let her help me and after a little resisting and hesitating, I agreed. It really was hard.

She already let me stay at her house for all these days, so how could I let her do more for me?
What if I were too much and she didn’t tell me?
What if she secretly wished I wouldn’t keep coming and she didn’t let me know?
What if she just did it to be nice to me, because she hadn’t learned to speak her truth?

These questions often go through our mind when we are in a situation of receiving or needing help and can make our life pretty difficult and lonely. It sure did mine!
I know my friend well enough to know that she is very good at speaking her truth and saying No when she means No. So I knew it had nothing to do with her. It was purely my own lack of worthiness and self doubt and it was up to me to learn how to receive better and trust the goodness of life.
These roots go so deep and are rarely questioned.

My Friend Anita At 90

I have another fun story. This one is about a friend at 90 who really needed a little help, but had never learned to ask.

Anita had broken her wrist after a fall, and was slowly recovering. One day after a meeting we’d attended, I offered to drive her home and take her to the store on the way home. At the store, we each did our shopping and decided to meet at the entrance when we were done.

Anita was already outside with her groceries when I came out. Her wrists were really not strong enough to carry her groceries, even though she had taken them out herself, so I asked her if I could carry them for her.

Her answer? “Oh, no thanks, I am fine”

With a smile on my face, I asked her: “Anita, have you ever learned that it is OK to ask for help?”

I wish I could have taken a picture of her face, when she looked at me with a big question mark and said ???”No”???

“Would you like to learn?” I asked.

And with the same look on her face she smiled “Yes.”

So I asked her to repeat after me: “Pernilla, could you please help me carry my groceries?”

She did, and we had a really good laugh outside the store and I was granted permission to help her.

When we arrived at her home, right away, she picked up her bags, and quickly I reminded her of what she had just learned. She was a fast learner and again granted me permission to carry all her groceries back into her kitchen and even put them away for her.

We had some good chuckles that day, and I saw how we are all like Anita and most of us never really learned the art of asking and receiving outside our self reliant identity.

Do you need help?

Please reach out

If you would like help uncovering your ‘Anita’ trying to manage part of your life (other than your grocery bags) on your own with minimal success, please sign up for a Discovery Session.
I Am Fine I won’t help carry your groceries, but I can help you find what scared part of you is holding back from stepping into your awakened Self, or what old belief is lurking in your subconscious keeping you repeating a past that is long over. We all have areas that we are blind to or too identified with to see them. An extra pair of eyes to help you see part of yourself without judgment, can do miracles, and make the next part of your journey easier and more enjoyable.
Let’s find out where you feel stuck, or keep repeating the past and what may be getting in your way to feel confident and empowered in Being You and make a difference in the world.
Isn’t that what you want?

The times of the lone wolf are over. Spending 30 minutes together in a Discovery Session to explore and discover what you need can be your next big step into the life you secretly long for inside – or find out what you really want next if you have been too busy taking care of others to connect with yourSelf at that level.

Just click here to fill out the form to set up a time with me. Or… if you want to go a little slower, a really good way to start and learn a little more about what I do, is to download my free e-book, 5 Steps To Dive Into The Divine Feminine Flow

You can learn more about my work as a Self-Love Mystic & Mentor at Divine Feminine Flow.

Oh, No Thanks, I Am Fine!