I see Self Love as an essential step before you can Sense and Surrender to Soul Love. Quite naturally Self Love becomes Soul Love as an evolutionary unfolding when you take these preliminary steps.
Your Truths, Values And Wisdom
If you are anything like me and most of the rest of the world, you’ve been compromising your own Truths, Values and Wisdom. These qualities come from your Soul. You’ve turned away from yourSelf in order to fit in, be Loved and Feel safe. Yes, I know, it doesn’t really work in the long run, which is probably why you Feel a resonance with this article. However, how do you turn back? What do you turn towards instead?
We all know that our bodies have taken a toll from being neglected and disrespected – by you and by me – and our bodies need to heal and catch up before we can make this turn.
As we are letting go of the old paradigm, which is built on an unlimited amount of limiting fear filled beliefs and qualities, a new horizon emerges. We are at a point in evolution where we can see the world from a new perspective. I’ve written a number of articles about the New Paradigm, which clarify some of the confusion and changes we are going through.
Just as Self Care is an essential step before you’ll reach Self Love, so is Self Love essential before you can reach Soul Love.
Why?
Have you ever heard that you have to have a healthy ego before you can let go of it? Trying to get rid of a broken ego will not make you whole, because it is the ego trying to get rid of itself. When your tire is flat, you don’t want to get rid of it, you want to fix it. Bringing Wholeness to what Feels broken, and Love to what Feels unloved, brings the Soul back online. Your Soul incorporates all the disowned parts back into One. Then leaving behind the ego takes on a whole new meaning.
That’s what we are looking at here. Your neglected and frazzled body is in survival mode and doesn’t have the extra needed energy to even consider your Soul. All it knows is trying to survive, pay the bills, be loved and get food on the table. You need to heal and liberate this energy first, so you can focus it elsewhere.
Even though this is not a linear process, I’ll divide it up into these 3 categories for the sake of clarity.
Self Care
First, you need to build a strong foundation – your physical body – in order to have enough energy to go one step deeper into strengthening your emotional body.
When you start taking good care of yourself, you attend to your physical and emotional needs before you compromise them. Self Care includes paying attention to what makes you feel better, healthier, peaceful, happier and more energized. You make sure you are eating healthy, organic foods, get enough rest, exercise, have fun, spend time with good Friends who support you, and find joy and purpose in how you live your life.
I’m not saying it’s easy to suddenly change old destructive habits, but when you realize how good you start Feeling when you leave them behind, it gets easier – I promise you.
Your body is like your vehicle in life and you need it to get around. If your vehicle is stranded on the side of the road out of gas, with a flat tire, you’re pretty stuck. You’ll have to spend all your time and energy to get it fixed first before you can explore what you really want. Maybe you can relate to this in your life and see if Self Care would be a good option for you.
And even though you may not realize this till much later, it is actually the time, effort and intention that you put into making these changes that help build and strengthen your Soul Awareness and connection. More on that later in a future article!
If you have not paid attention to your natural needs and longings, your body may already Feel like this stranded vehicle along the road. If that is the case for you, you may be forced to Care for yourSelf, instead of having the freedom to chose it now before you run out of gas. Please take this article as an invitation …
Self Love
Now that you’ve got the Self Care rolling, have fixed your flat tire and filled up your gas tank, you naturally have more energy and can start paying attention to your inner world. What has been neglected and missing here. Where and how are you compromising your Values, Wisdom and Vision?
With a healthier, stronger and well-rested body, it’s much easier to explore those kind of questions.
With your focus off of your stranded vehicle, you can suddenly notice your emotional, mental and spiritual needs. Trust me, you’re going to need this energy from the Self Care section to be able to focus on these deeper, more meaningful activities.
You may even get some good insights as to why your vehicle got stranded, because it’s all so inter-connected.
In this Self Love section, you are learning to listen to your deeper Truths, and will be able to say no when you mean no, and yes when you mean yes. You’ll start setting healthy boundaries and pay more attention to your own needs. The tendency to ‘be there for others’ will still be strong inside, so be patient with yourSelf as you are learning to Listen to how you can also ‘be there for yourSelf.’
You can read more about Self Love on my blog post section called Self Love and Healing.
And if you want more tips on Self Love, please check out How Can Loving YourSelf Change Your Life?
Soul Love
As long as you neglect your own needs, you actually cut yourSelf off from your Soul’s Calling. Your Soul does not neglect any part of you. As you move your way down through all the layers where you’ve ignored and neglected yourSelf and start paying attention to what matters to you, you’re actually already in touch with your Soul. It’s your Soul moving through all these layers, and it’s your Soul prompting you to turn around. It’s your Soul that you Feel when you suddenly lose interest in moving away from what deeply matters to you.
Now you will be able to Listen to the deeper Current that runs through your Senses and you’ll learn how to Listen, Trust and Follow it. Eventually you’ll fully surrender into it and as strange as it may sound, the things you learned in the Self Care and Self Love department, take 2nd seat now.
It’s all so interconnected, and as you move closer and closer to your Soul, you’ll Feel and Realize that it’s been your Soul calling you Home all along through all these layers. Suddenly the areas of your life that you learned to say yes and no to, although still important, are not as important as saying YES to your Soul.
Your Soul is what makes you turn around, even when you don’t know it yet. Your Soul is what is guiding you now. Your Soul is what fulfills you into your Soul Purpose as you leave what seemed so important before behind. I’m not saying that you’ll end up with a stranded vehicle again. Oh, no! You’ll just rely on the deeper movement inside of your Soul, trusting that you are taken care of in a strange way, on all levels.
Self Love Becomes Soul Love
Soul Love goes both ways:
It’s your Soul Loving you back Home, and
It’s you Loving your Soul by paying attention to it.
When you do, you’ll be happy to leave behind all the things that kept you moving away from your Soul – out into the world, hoping to get some morsels of Love and relief. By now you Know that what you are Longing for is not found out there, and now you Know how to move through the layers you have built between you and your Soul.
Rumi says: Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
There’s more to this Soul Love story, so please stay tuned…
Feel free to browse my website Divine Feminine Flow to see what kind of support you may need to make changes for the better. If you need support to change these old patters – and believe me, we all do – then please contact me for a free 30 min Discovery Session where we’ll explore what kind of support you might need and if I am the right mentor to receive it from. You can also start with my free ebook 5 Steps To Dive Into The Divine Feminine Flow and do a little practice on your own first.
Claire Hutchinson says
Dear Pernilla,
Thank you for sharing these insights and wisdom. I appreciate the work you do very much.
Surely our souls have touched because this resonates so strongly with me now.
I remember genuinely asking the question and desperate to know “how do I love myself”. I had no clue what that looked or felt like. And thankfully have by grace found my way to the answers. So when the student is ready the soul leads the way.
Not linear and not to be taken for granted the emergence of soul connection peeks and winks at me through the mist. I know who I am now.
Pernilla says
Thank you Claire for your lovely response. So wonderful to meet a kindred Spirit who has realized the power of True Self Love. By now I think many people know that you can’t really avoid it, hard as we have tried 🙂
Loving yourSelf is a lifelong process in my experience and eventually you realize that it’s your Soul peaking through getting your attention to let you know who it really IS that you Love.
I alway spell Self with a cap S to make that distinction, even though small self is not separate from it and a very necessary/essential part of the journey. How you leave any part out, when you realize the Oneness of Life?
I Love your statement that when the student is ready, the Soul leads the way.
Blessings and Love to you!