The Blame Game

Getting Out of Your Own Way Tip #5

Now that we have addressed shame, let’s move onto blame – the blame game – another skill we’ve learned to get in our own way and out of the Flow of Life.

Putting It Outside In Your Field Of Vision

They really aren’t so different, not just in their rhyme. When you feel shame, it means you are not yet able to see some perceived imperfection in yourselvf, and the fastest – less painful way to seemingly get rid of it, is to project it onto someone else. By doing that, it hasn’t gone away. It has just become visible in the field of vision outside of yourself.
Now the next step is to see this field outside of you as a loving mirror for you to look into … WITH LOVE! Remember in the first blogpost in this series, I called it a ‘Living Loving universe we live in and It will do whatever It can to help liberate you from anything that stands in your way of diving into your unique Divine Feminine Flow.’ It may be a stretch to embrace that conceptually if you can’t feel it. But it is worth playing with to see how your perception changes when you get curious about how this event or person may actually be in your best interest.
Love has been the missing piece all along and is the reason it became a blind spot.
Let’s add some Love into this mix and see what we can create.

The Mirror Of Love

You have to use Love when you look into this mirror. It is the only way it can be seen from a different angle – your inside. We’ve already touched on some of the ways how to Love ourselves in the previous blog posts about How to Get Out of Your Own Way. And the whole purpose for this blog series is to learn how to do that – is to learn to Love the parts that seem to stand in our way, and how we ourselves placed them there. If we keep feeling embarrassed about our shortcomings, they will for sure stay, and it will prevent us from enjoying the Divine Feminine Flow that is ready to burst through us and fulfill our expression in this life. Are you willing to give it a try?

The Blame Game IS A Game

You’ve probably heard that term before. I find it interesting that it is called a game, but I am not so sure most of us are aware of that. It IS a game we are playing with ourselves and others, pretending we are not whole, beautiful and lovable as long as we have scared, sad, unevolved and unresolved parts inside.

I would like to offer a possible solution how to end this game. Mindfulness is of the essence, and so is Self Love. In one way it is simple and starts by pausing – stopping – taking a slow kind deep breath and getting curious about this uncomfortable feeling inside that you want to get rid of. I often suggest to kindly say ‘Hello’ to it instead of the familiar ‘Go away!’ That is a pretty safe way to start stopping the game.
The challenging part of it is to be willing to own your projection and find out what is really going on by deeply listening to the part of you that felt a need to project itself out there. It’s painful to own up to something you feel bad about as long as you don’t know that it’s OK not to be perfect. And it remains painful as long as you don’t know how to get out of this cycle of blame, that does not feel like a game at all when you are stuck in it.

 Practical Steps To Begin With:

• Pause for a moment and move your attention to your body
• Stop following the familiar pattern of trying to get rid of, deny or tighten around this area in your body where the discomfort lives
• Take a slow, kind breath right into the discomfort with an openness to get to know this part by saying Hello to it and making Space for it.
• Take some more breaths and give that area inside some attention instead of wanting it to go away. Breathing into it shifts the narrowness of contraction into more Space. It helps you get out from being stuck inside and expands you into being Spacious and Present around it.
• Now you are in a position to listen to yourself in a way you can’t do when you only want to get rid of it.
  

From Outside To Inside

A little recap: try to meet a part in yourself that you have projected outside of yourself, simply because you were not able yet to meet it inside yourself. Know that the Living, Loving Universe is lovingly giving you a chance to open your blind eye inside and take a peek outside. Whatever situation, person or experience out there seems to make you feel angry and blaming, try to pause – stop – breathe into these feelings and say hello to them. Get curious what they want to tell you when you are willing to listen.

We’ll go much deeper into this as we go along and if you can’t wait, you can always download my free book ‘Five Steps to Dive into the Divine Feminine Flow.’ Here I outline it in more detail than I can do in these short posts. I do hope they are giving you enough of an appetite to follow the initial tips and steps to get out of your own way and into your Divine Feminine Flow.

So, Tip #5:

Pause, Stop, Breathe Into The Discomfort And Meet It With A Kind Hello.

I can’t wait to hear from you how this affects you and if you need support making this U-ey from the outside to the inside. It’s a mighty turn and will change your life forever. You can learn more about my work as a Self Love Mystic & Mentor at Divine Feminine Flow. An easy way to start is with my book Imagine Being Kind To YourSelf. If you feel ready to dive all the way in and get out of blaming and into realizing your own mirror, please contact me for a free 30 min. Discovery Session to learn how true Self Love can make such a U-ey. There’s plenty of help and support for you.

All Love,
Pernilla

www.DivineFeminineFlow.com