I am a certified Hakomi practitioner. Hakomi is a mindfulness-based, body-centered approach to self-discovery, and it has been the foundation of my work since the late 1990s. Almost everything I do in my work with clients grows out of it.
The word itself comes from a Hopi phrase that asks, essentially, Who are you? Hakomi calls itself “assisted self-study,” and that’s a fair description of what actually happens between us. We slow down. We get curious about what is actually here — a sensation, a tightening, a longing, a thought you didn’t choose — and we let your own experience show us where to go next, instead of either of us deciding in advance what you need to discover.
Private sessions are one hour, and can be done in person if you’re in the Bay Area in California, or online from wherever you are.
Hakomi is experiential. Rather than only talking about what’s in the way, we work with it directly and gently — through small experiments, short probes, and, always with your permission, safe touch — so the contracted, scared parts of you can feel safe enough to be known.
One session can open a door, but real change usually asks for more than one visit. I’ll generally suggest a series, and we’ll shape that together — along with what your investment will be — during your free 30-minute Discovery Session.
What we’re actually working with
You may already understand a great deal about why you do what you do. You may recognize your patterns, know where they came from, and have spent years working with them. And still, something deeper is calling for your attention.
That’s the territory Hakomi is suited for. It teaches you something new about yourself precisely by slowing things down enough for you to notice what’s already happening — in your body, in a feeling you’ve been managing rather than meeting, in a knowing that arrives before your mind has caught up.
As a Hakomi Practitioner and Self Love Mentor, I bring Presence, guidance, and curiosity, to help you feel safe enough to stay with something that may feel scary. You bring your present-moment experience. Together, we stay with it long enough for the next layer to reveal itself.
We don’t have to bypass anything
An important part of this work is that we don’t skip past what’s difficult in order to arrive at Presence. The places we resist, the feelings we don’t want to feel, the old beliefs, the parts of ourselves we’ve pushed away — all of it is welcome here, and all of you is welcome here.
When we meet those parts with curiosity instead of judgment, they can begin to feel safe enough to soften. That doesn’t mean we’re giving the old story more power by looking at it. We’re becoming present enough to see our relationship to it — and to let it be here without deciding it defines who we are.
Learning to trust what you already know
Many of us have learned to question what we feel, override what we know, or look outside ourselves for the answer. As you become more present, you start recognizing your own ways of knowing again. You recognize a longing that keeps returning. Something in the body that softens or tightens. A quiet knowing. Sometimes simply a deep Yes or a deep No you didn’t know how to say out loud.
The more we listen, the more familiar that language becomes, and can be accessed as part of your intuition and deeper Knowing. And underneath it, there’s a second layer of trust that becomes possible over time: trusting your own I Am Presence as something you can actually feel and safely be guided by.
Self Love, and what’s underneath it
Self Love gives us a way back into relationship with ourselves — listening, feeling, including the parts we’ve rejected instead of managing them from a distance.
As enough of that separate, defended sense of self softens, the energy that had been tied up in maintaining it becomes available for something else. Your Presence. Your true nature. Not a destination so much as a homecoming that was always underway.
This is the work I love, and the reason I’ve remained a Hakomi Practitioner for almost thirty years: it doesn’t ask you to believe anything. It asks you to notice, and from there, belief becomes Knowing.
Becoming A Hakomi Practitioner
While writing my book Imagine Being Kind to Yourself, I had to “reinvent myself” and take off any “-hoods” or “-ists” in order to just be me, without anybody else’s letters, stamps, or bells and whistles. I have collected plenty of them over the years of training and transformation, and I’m deeply grateful for every transmission, teaching, tool, and technique I’ve learned to apply with myself and my clients.
All of my past experiences have blessed and assisted me in becoming myself, and what I offer you is, basically, me.
Being fully me allows you to be fully you — and that is the greatest gift we can be and give to each other: our Presence.
Certifications and training:
- Certified Hakomi Practitioner
- Certified SHEN Practitioner
- Oneness Blessing (Deeksha) Facilitator
- Meditation Teacher at UCSC
- Certified Massage Therapist
- Certified EFT Practitioner
Teachers and lineages:
- Many years with Infinite Way teachers and the teachings of Joel S. Goldsmith. Joel’s books sparked my first deep spiritual awakening in 1987.
- Seven years with Barry Long as student and US coordinator
- Many years with Adyashanti as student, volunteer, satsang coordinator, and retreat manager.
Books I’ve written:
Imagine Being Kind to Yourself, Allow Yourself to Be You, Why Did This Happen to Me?, The Gift Of Being Highly Sensitive, 5 Mistakes Women Make That Stop Them From Getting Their Needs Met, Allow Yourself To Be You.
I was teaching meditation classes at UC Santa Cruz 2008-2020, as well as at Santa Cruz County Jail for 2 years.
And there is a lot more…
Out of the tyranny of self-doubt and self-criticism
I know how titles and letters can look so impressive after your name. What is most impressive to me, however, is how I found my way out of the tyranny of self-doubt and self-criticism I grew up in. This caused me a lot of suffering and anxiety — never really trusting what was true for me, compromising myself, and landing me in a number of very uncomfortable circumstances. Trust me, self-doubt was my middle name for most of my life, and it kept me in duality, separation, and suffering.
Out of it has arisen the strength and embodiment of knowing who I am, and living my life according to the Oneness, guidance, and wisdom of my Heart — known to me as the Divine Feminine Flow.
This is the best credential I can offer you.
If something here is calling you, the next step is simple. Connect with me over a free 30 min free Self Discovery Session. We’ll find out if we are a good team to explore the next part of your unfolding journey of Self Love together.
I Look forward to meeting you!
ALL Love
Pernilla
